.I am more than thrilled with my new life coach. It has been an amazing journey and learning experience so far. She magically pulls the right triggers. Somehow she seems to knock down my defensive shields I have built over so many years. How does she do that? That’s difficult to say. I can’t recognize a clear strategy. What seems to be key is that she is brutally honest.  That’s not always easy but I know I can count on it. The other thing I really enjoy is that she is the most patient listener I have ever met. I can just talk and she will listen patiently and attentively.  I honestly feel that I can trust her. Whatever we discuss stays absolutely between us.  She simply is what she is, nothing more nothing less. Through her I have a taste of what it means to access one’s potential, which I heard so many times before.

If there is one thing I can complain about, it is that she is not always very professional. She never seems to stick to the agreed hours.  She can even be a little inhumane sometimes when she decides to coach me in the middle of the night at 4am in the morning. She doesn’t seem to care much about my comfort needs.  But hey, you can’t get it all. Overall, it is more than worth it. I have learnt more in the last few weeks than in the last couple of years. I have the strange feeling that our daughter Alisa Melis, born on the 16^th October of this year, will challenge me in many more ways!  She shows me how to just to be me and access sides of me I didn’t know exist.

How is this relevant to you?

Firstly, life seems to give us amazing opportunities to learn and grow, if we are open to it. I guess most people would agree that becoming a parent is a very powerful way of growing.

Secondly, childlike honesty, openness, authenticity and being true to yourself seem to be powerful tools for personal growth and success. Well, coincidentally this is what Unitive™  coaching is basically about.

Consequently, if you value your personal growth, would like to realize more of your potential and like to be on the fast track you could:

1)    Consider becoming a parent, if you are not already one. A small warning here, at a daily rate of 12-14 nappies this can be a costly experience (if you are a parent you know what I am talking about) or maybe

2)    Test a coaching journey with one of our Unitive™ coaches.

Yücel Yilmaz  Unitive coaching team

 There are two basic ways in which you can live your life.  You can say, these are my aims, these are my goals and I’m going to go hell-for-leather to achieve them. This is the unexamined life.   But, you know, there is an alternative approach.  You can say instead, let’s have a look at where these aims have come from – how they originated – because they’ve taken me to a place in the here-and-now where I really don’t want to be.  Once you stop aiming for will-o’-the-wisp goals in life, you can take a fresh and perceptive look at how you’ve arrived at where you are right now.  You’re then free to see where your authentic nature will take you.  Life then becomes a joyful journey, rather than a desperate dash up the fast lane of an endless motorway heading straight for la-la land.

      The majority of life coaching approaches encourage blinkered goal-orientation.   In other words, they say, you tell us whatever it is that you want and we’ll tell you how to get it.  But in the long run, because they push you even harder towards striving to achieve your ‘perfect’ goal, all they do is defer the final disillusionment – that point later on in your life’s journey at which you inevitably will arrive, when you realise the futility of having wasted your precious time aiming for something that in reality has never existed.

    Unitive™ coaching is different.   It takes you on a journey back to your true self; through a deeper understanding of your attitudes and patterns of behaviour that are fixed in the past; through seeing that you perceive the world as you are; through an acceptance of your mortality and the discovery of the joy of living in the moment; and by re-connecting yourself with your intuition, that deep wellspring of authentic impulses and creativity.

    Thanks for having read this.  Now, let’s hear back from you…

 Charles Bentley PhD

   The two words, problem and difficulty, are often used interchangeably. But, when you explore their true meaning, you’ll see that they refer to two quite different concepts. So let’s take a minute or so to explore the fundamental difference between the subjective, personalised and internal nature of a problem – that is, a conflict in a person’s perception of elements in the real world – and the actuality – the existential, undeniable fact – of the thousand and one random difficulties that always will happen in the course of a lifetime.

   The Unitive™ coaching approach does not deal with life’s external difficulties.  A person who is able to see the world as it really is will always deal with whatever life comes up with, in his or her own authentic way. If there are difficulties that he doesn’t have the skills or knowledge to cope with, he may go to a professional for help. However, the problems the Unitive™ coach addresses are purely subjective. They do not exist in the world as such, but only in the client’s comprehension of that world.

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“Being conscious is cutting through your own melodrama and being right here. Exist in no mind, be empty, here now, and trust that as a situation arises, out of you will come what is necessary to deal with that situation including the use of your intellect when appropriate.

Your intellect need not be constantly held on to to keep reassuring you that you know where you’re at, out of fear of loss of control. Ultimately, when you stop identifying so much with your physical body and with your psychological entity, that anxiety starts to disintegrate. And you start to define yourself as in flow with the universe; and whatever comes along – death, life, joy, sadness – is grist for the mill of awakening,

Not this versus that

but whatever.”

                                                                                                  Ram Dass

“… I feel that risk-taking is one of the many things I myself have learned from experience…. Though I do not always live up to it, I have learned that basically there is nothing to be afraid of. When I present myself as I am, when I can just come forth non-defensively, without armour, just me – when I can accept the fact that I have many deficiencies and faults, make many mistakes, and am often ignorant when I should be knowledgeable, often prejudiced when I should be open-minded, often having feelings that are not justified by the circumstances – then I can be much more real.

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